Email
Print
Email
Print

Team USA unveils its Sochi Olympic jerseys…and they’re terrible

Decrease fontDecrease font
Enlarge fontEnlarge font

By Allan Muir

So the unveiling of the jerseys that Team USA will wear in Sochi didn’t exactly go off without a hitch this morning in Arlington, Va.

First, Nike PR scooped the official ceremony by releasing the images about 10 minutes early. Then event MC Kathryn Tappen prefaced the unveiling with the phrase, “I know this doesn’t seem like a big deal,” which seems an odd choice considering that the whole point of the event was to reveal the jerseys.

But, hey, at least none of the players slipped and broke his neck while walking out onto the ice while wearing the new duds.

Anyway, here they are:

First thoughts? Pretty bad. Pretty, pretty, pretty bad.

The vintage-y logo? It’s a callback to the design worn in the 1920s and ’30s. It’s not bad, but it’s not exactly original, either.

GALLERY: Bizarre NHL third jerseys

Not sure what’s up with that shade of blue. (There’s a perfectly good one on the flag.) And those shiny stars sublimated on the shoulders? Looks like something you’d find on a Care Bear.

And the fake lacing? Good lord, the fake lacing!

But they did manage to print, “Land of the free, home of the brave,” on the inside of the collar where no one will ever see it, so that’s something.

Ultimately, it comes down to performance. If Team USA comes through, these jerseys will become iconic. Until that happens though, I’m guessing that these won’t be too well received outside of the 4-10 demographic. What do you think? Are you swelling with national pride as you rush out to buy one, or are you ready to take up arms to ensure that Nike never designs another hockey jersey ever again?

  • Published On Aug 27, 2013
  • 22 comments
    morejunk
    morejunk

    You think anybody wants a round house kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys?  FORGET ABOUT IT!!

    twrdh
    twrdh

    Nike sucks at uniforms. The thing that a lot of people probably don't think about and the truly sad part is that someone at the US Olympic Committee had to think these looked good and approve the design. Seriously!?!? fake lacing WTF?

    badcyclist1
    badcyclist1

    Except for the fake laces, which is a terrible idea, and the shoulder stars, which are ugly and of not practical or aesthetic purpose, I do not hate these jerseys.  They are a pleasingly unfussy callback to some classic early Olympic jerseys.  

    The twitterverse is apparently full of 12 year-olds these days.  The Union Pacific and K-Swiss badges came along much, much later than the USA badge, guys.

    stashu
    stashu

    As long as they're made in USA (NOT in China!), I'm okay.

    Glenn8
    Glenn8

    We need to get someone other than Nike to provide hockey and soccer uniforms for our national teams. These are actually worse than the Where's Waldo soccer jerseys.

    Mike194
    Mike194

    Hopefully this is the last time Nike will run their focus groups at the Helen Keller School for the Blind.

    steven1109
    steven1109

    They're great looking jerseys, and could allow for the design theme to be tweaked in subsequent years.

    You really have to be a truly negative person to find fault with them.

    2001mark
    2001mark

    Whoa boy... Team USA going to invade Russian ice wearing those?  As a Canadian I feel sorry for you, kinda.  lols

    iclasticons
    iclasticons

    Too many windmills. Just can't get excited enough to tilt st this one. After all, these are just hockey uniforms. Relatively few people watch the games unless the USA is at least in the semifinals and even then they care more about the fights, blood, penalties and score than about what the guys are wearing. Seriously, can't America focus on something more meaningful, like Miley Cyrus' twerking or Oprah's revelations re: Lindsey Lohan or Lamarr's drug-induced absence from the Kardashian Circus?

    AaronL.Parrish
    AaronL.Parrish

    I'm guessing it says more about Nike than about me that I was expecting far worse.

    Evan
    Evan

    Wow, that is truly awful.  The logo is bad, and the fake lacing is ridiculous in how bad it is.  I could live with the stars, and even the odd choice to go with an off shade of blue.  But who at Nike thought fake lacing would be awesome?  

    muser
    muser

    really ugly....isn't "nike" Greek for ugly?

    BlackhawkJayhawk
    BlackhawkJayhawk

    It almost seems like they tried to hard to mix an old style with something new and it just didn't mix at all

    Dustin3
    Dustin3

    @iclasticons I don't know how an article about hockey uniforms turned into a rant about America's poor taste in entertainment and who they choose to deem  as "celebrities", but I agree with ya.

    muser
    muser

    @iclasticons "they care more about the fights, blood and penalties'...I guess you haven't seen the TV ratings from the last two Olympic Hockey Tournaments.....Are you a complete moron or just ignorant about hockey?

    badcyclist1
    badcyclist1

    ... more than a century after the American national shield.