By Allan Muir
• Purple Monkey Dishwasher. Does Wayne Gretzky want to be president of the Toronto Maple Leafs? Probably not, but someone speculated about it on the radio, then the internet got ahold of it, so apparently now it’s a thing.
• Don’t jump! Is this the first suspendable hit of the season? Nick Kypreos was the first to report on Twitter that Brayden Schenn would hear from Brendan Shanahan today after he leapt off the ice just prior to making contact with Anton Volchenkov. Hard to determine the first point of contact from this video, but it doesn’t appear to be the head. Still, there’s a desire to eliminate hits that involve leaving the ice, and since there was no penalty called on the play, the guess here is that Schenn will face a fine if nothing else.
• Matte Daddy. Jonas Hiller stuck with the flat back background, but finally brought some personal touches to his new mask. No, that’s not a flaming Wild Wing.
• Even Americans take shots at Toronto now? Sure, Pittsburgh is a great hockey town and yeah the fans are invested and the game’s growing at the grassroots level and…holy crap, it might be the new hockey mecca!
• “Katz isn’t rich because he’s dumb.” We could be on the verge of an announcement regarding the new arena in Edmonton. Maybe they heard Darryl Katz was planning another shakedown trip. I hear there could be some open arena dates in Sacramento soon.
• Late arrival. Four years after being taken in the first round, Vancouver prospect Jordan Schroeder is set to make his NHL debut tonight against Calgary. He’ll play on the second line with Mason Raymond and Dale Weise, and should see time on the power play as well.
• Are you guys brothers? You knew this photo was coming as soon as 6′-8″ behemoth John Scott signed with the Sabres. Once you get past the obvious comedy, check out those ridiculous thigh-guns on Nathan Gerbe. If you ever wondered how a 5′-5″ guy can make it in this league, there’s your answer.
• This might have called for a more measured response. Former Lightning/Ducks/Thrashers winger Evgeny Artyukhin completely loses it after being boarded in a KHL match Tuesday. Yeah, Janne Jalasvaara poked the bear with that crosscheck, but geez…
• It’s Robin Zander’s birthday. Let’s all celebrate with a listen to one of the greatest songs in rock ‘n’ roll history.