By Allan Muir
• A simple yes or no question. The great Scott Feschuk imagines a world where the commish channels his inner Lance Armstrong and fesses up on Oprah’s couch. Also, free puppies!
• Something old, something new. True fact. More Minnesotans kept warm during the lockout by wearing a Wild sweater – Zach Parise or Ryan Suter – than by burning an effigy of Bettman. The Wild faithful finally get to see their pricey free agents don the togs tonight, along with rookies Mikael Granlund and Mat Dumba.
• Wishful thinking. The Sens start the season with three goalies and the belief that Ben Bishop could net a top-four defender in trade. Yeah, for a 26-year-old with a 7-8-3 career record.
• Putty in his hands. Blues’ coach Ken Hitchcock brought in Sergei Zubov to mold the game of Norris-candidate Alex Pietrangelo. Sort of like a less sexy, more beardy Demi Moore.
• Him again? The Devils open their 18th consecutive season with Martin Brodeur in net, toppling the record of 17 held by beer-league legend Wayne “Mosa” Stewart of the Motor City Auto Vikings.
• Tree-huggers, rejoice! The OHL’s plan to reduce – not eliminate – fighting seems to be working. Somewhere, Don Cherry clutches his heart in mock agony and yells, “I’m comin’ to join ya, Blue!” That is mock agony, right?
• Quit hogging the remote. Not in Dallas for tonight’s opener against the Coyotes? No worries. You can watch it on TV … just like franchise player Jamie Benn.